12:45pm
Today I had caffeine. Today panic took over.
A psychological change, an overwhelming feeling of worry. The equivalent to “butterflies in my stomach”, but the fluttering is felt in my chest.
Debilitating.
Consuming.
I can’t concentrate on anything right now. Nails tapping on desk, thoughts racing.
The trigger so minor, to anyone else, not even a worry.
Why won’t he respond? Breathe, just breathe.
1:07pm. He responds.
Relief. Release.
I decided to write this during a time that I was actually feeling anxious. When it started I couldn’t think of anything else, it was impossible. I grabbed a pen and my notebook and just began to write what I was feeling. I wanted an outlet, I needed to vent. What I found was that it did actually help me to feel more at ease.
There is much to be said about writing, about expressing what you’re feeling; transferring your emotions into organized thoughts and making them visually available for all to see. It is therapeutic. It is transcendent. The ability to let go and to then look back as an outsider helps to put things into perspective. Are my fears unfounded, am I overreacting? If so, there is no point in asking why; the “why” is irrelevant. I already know I overreact, I already know I am anxious by nature. The real question is “how?”. How do I surpass this fear? What can I do to overcome the anxiety at this very moment? More often than not, the answer is to breathe. Focusing on the natural rhythm of breathing occupies the mind and when the mind is otherwise occupied, it doesn’t have time to indulge in our irrational thoughts. Breathing. Such a simple concept, such a natural solution. I mean, we have to do it anyways right? Breathing to survive, in this case, a whole new sense of meaning.
When you feel overwhelmed or stressed or anxious, what do you do? How do you handle those moment? Do you remember to breathe? It’s easier said than done, right?
I know, I know.
Simply Sil 